Why are relationships so easy when they first start, and seem to get more difficult over time?
The sad truth is that we pay more attention to our partners in the beginning of the relationship. Over time, however, we become more self-oriented. Here are three tips to have a happier relationship over time.
- What Can I Do For You? The biggest complaints I hear from couples are the lists of things they do not do for each other. The number one way you can have a fantastic relationship is to give up your rights. You may have the right to relax after a tough day at work, or a long day with the kids. The clothes may be on the floor, the dishes in the sink, the lawn out of control, etc. You may know it irritates your partner to see it, but you are tired and you have the right to take a break. Give up that right. Jump up and get it done, whatever it is.
- Finances. It is common knowledge that money is one of the top reasons for divorce, but that is not actually accurate. The reason is agreeing on what to do with the money, so the issue really is communication. In fact, the second biggest thing you can do to have an amazing relationship is to talk… about what matters. Small talk will not help. Have conversations on real issues. And keep in mind point 1, be prepared to give up your rights. If you work for vacations, but your partner wants a hefty retirement account, find ways to compromise. What will work that will be acceptable to both of you?
- Change. Women generally marry men because they see the potential inside their love. They see what the man may be like in the future. Men marry women for how they are right now. So, women want men to change and men don’t want women to change. But change is a fact of life, and it is usually not a change you expect.
Accept change for what it is. And keep in mind point 2, communicate about change. Maybe she has a job that makes an insane amount of money, but she hates her job. She may come to you one day and say she just quit. How will the bills be paid with just your salary?
Remember guys, that is thinking about yourself first. There must have been a good reason for it. Communicate with her, it’s not as tough as it seems. Ask questions that empower her rather than bring her down. You are together to hold each other up throughout the changes that happen.